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sammontague

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sammontague

Age/Gender: 80, Male
Location: london,england.

cristian for life.

Newgrounds Stats

Sign-Up Date:
1/18/09

Level: 5
Aura: Fab

Rank: Town Watch
Blams: 28
Saves: 125
Rank #: 45,838

Whistle Status: Normal

Exp. Points: 270 / 280
Exp. Rank #: 131,132
Voting Pow.: 4.49 votes

BBS Posts: 173 (0.5 per day)
Flash Reviews: 93
Music Reviews: 54
Trophies: 0
Stickers: 0

sammontague's News

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sammontague

are you gay

Posted by sammontague Jul. 8, 2009 @ 4:44 PM EDT
sammontague

900 odd years old

Posted by sammontague Jul. 3, 2009 @ 7:01 AM EDT

lol im fucking awsome someone got 1567 but there a dumb niger so worship me instead :P

btw i cant change my details to evil instead of fab as i dont have a d.o.b lol

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sammontague

banned from bbs again :D

Posted by sammontague Jul. 2, 2009 @ 3:10 AM EDT

yay another fucking ban the faggot mods dont tell you who banned you but poozy admits...

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sammontague

peanut butter and jelly samwich

Posted by sammontague Jun. 30, 2009 @ 5:46 PM EDT

First, you must spread a thick layer of peanut butter onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the peanut butter on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread peanut butter on one side. Spreading peanut butter on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. Next, you must spread a thick layer of jelly onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the jelly on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread jelly on one side. Spreading jelly on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. You cannot spread jelly onto the same slice of bread onto which you have spread peanut butter. Also, you cannot spread peanut butter or jelly onto more than one slice of bread, as this will provide an undesired excess of either ingredient. Additionally, only peanut butter and jelly can be spread onto these slices of bread; no other ingredient will suffice, and no substitute can be used in a sandwich that is to be legitimately recognized as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Likewise, only bread may be the substance upon which the peanut butter and jelly are spread, as anything else does not fit the standards of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; if the peanut butter and jelly are spread onto a culinary medium that isn't bread, the meal at hand simply is not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once you have accomplished spreading a thin layer of peanut butter onto the white of one side of one slice of bread, and likewise has been accomplished using grape jelly on a separate slice of bread, you must match the slices of bread up to each other, forming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In this scenario, the peanut butter-covered face of bread must be facing the jelly-covered face of the second slice of bread so that the peanut butter surface touched the surface of the jelly. The surface of the peanut butter is not allowed to touch a jelly-less substance of bread, resulting in the jelly facing outwards, and likewise applies to the jelly. If a substance is found facing on the outside of the sandwich, the product will not be accepted as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The side with peanut butter and the side with jelly on it must match up and stick together to form one solid sandwich. When the eater picks up the sandwich, he or she must hold both pieces of bread at the same time, or else one slice will fall off, and eating only one slice of bread will not be recognized as the same or even similar to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Next, you must take a bite of the sandwich. This action will consist of moving the sandwich within such a close proximity of your face that a small "bite" of the sandwich will enter your mouth for you to mash up with your teeth. This bite must be a bite that includes both slices of bread, peanut butter and jelly. Make sure that all obstructions are clear from the mouth and esophagus, not including peanut butter, jelly or bread or any combination of said ingredients. If you have followed all previous steps, this goal will be easily accomplished. Not doing so will create an incorrect and inferior dining experience and thus will not be a peanut and butter sandwich that is being eaten. However, if one successfully gets both peanut butter and jelly in one bite that fits in the mouth and does not result in choking, the dining experience is thus far acceptable. For your complete experience with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to be considered complete and unobjectionable, you must perform the previously mentioned series of taking bites of the sandwich, chewing them, and swallowing them repeatedly until the entire sandwich has been removed visible existence. These circumstances may only be reached by eating the entire sandwich, and no parts of the sandwich may be thrown away or given to somebody else. This is your sandwich, and your responsibility. For the Dining experience to be completed, the sandwich must be completely digested. In the context of completing the process of consuming a legitimate peanut butter and jelly sandwich, there are no extenuating circumstances. Actions such as vomiting, surgical removal of the sandwich from the body, or placement of the sandwich inside the lungs opposed to the esophagus will not be taken into account, as they do not result in the complete digestion of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The process must come to a close via rectal excrement of feces that have been provided by the digestion of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once the peanut butter and jelly sandwich-fueled feces have exited the rectum, they must remain free from the rectum to be considered conclusive in the process of physically processing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If the feces re-enters the rectum, the process will be rendered a failure, and must be started again.

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sammontague

back

Posted by sammontague Jun. 2, 2009 @ 5:45 PM EDT

yo back after a lil innactivity

Updated: 06/02/09 5:48 PM 10 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
sammontague

dfsafasf

Posted by sammontague Apr. 14, 2009 @ 2:15 PM EDT

bored.

Updated: 04/14/09 2:23 PM 3 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!
sammontague

music

Posted by sammontague Apr. 13, 2009 @ 4:33 PM EDT

im gunno start makeing music gunno go browse FL and look for some stuff to download.

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sammontague

wat up

Posted by sammontague Apr. 7, 2009 @ 4:57 PM EDT

yo.

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sammontague

might leave

Posted by sammontague Mar. 24, 2009 @ 7:28 AM EDT

not.

Updated: 03/26/09 5:39 PM 0 comments | Comments disabled | Share this!
sammontague

tribute to sebtheemo

Posted by sammontague Mar. 19, 2009 @ 5:41 PM EDT

rest in peace mate.

Updated: 03/19/09 5:42 PM 0 comments | Comments disabled | Share this!
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